Funny how you just keep on clinging to a certain hope, a certain dream, working on bringing it to life, on making it come true, then something just kills it!
Funny how you preach to your loved ones and friends a message of hope, ask them to hold on and keep their spirits up whenever life brings them down, whenever the going gets tough, then all of a sudden, it’s hard for you to practice what you preach!
You find yourself overwhelmed with hopelessness, with fear, with doubt. And you just wonder whether you should go on, keep hitting that road, or just pause for a while, cease all movement, STOP! Simply live life as it comes without planning, without questioning, without judging, less thinking too much of what’s to come.
Later, you decide to resort to Him, when you’re tired of reasoning! You have a dialogue with God! You ask Him what might have gone wrong, you look back on what you did attempting to make sense out of it all! Sometimes you get an answer, and sometimes you just don’t, well for a while! It’s all about faith! That’s what it comes down to. At times it’s just there at a climax when you think to yourself that whatever comes simply comes for a reason, that whatever you wanted and did not get might have been against your welfare after all!
It’s simply a matter of faith, strong at times, fragile at others, a matter of believing. In what? Destiny! That all your life you’re walking down a well planned road with a determined end, that life does not entirely boil down to your choices! Then you think that whatever comes your way is a mere result of choices you made and decisions you took! Which is it? I lost track, I don’t have the answer!
You’re torn between despairing for your murdered dream and hoping for and anticipating a better life, a better end to which you just keep on working and toiling! You’re wondering when you’ll see that bright light at the end of the tunnel that everybody keeps mumbling about! You’re confused! You’re trying to make sense of faith and destiny and their everlasting interrelation… Then you remember your murdered dream, and listen to your heart’s unsung requiem!
To be continued…